My House Has a Force Field and Other Things I Hadn’t Noticed

Force field dog

There are quite a few really fascinating features about my home that I had never noticed before Ginger came to live with us. After 13 years of continuous occupancy, I thought I knew everything there was to know about our cozy abode, but apparently not. Here are just a few attributes Ginger has enlightened me about.

 

1. The hallway houses a force field. “(Next to the force field are less magical objects, like the door to the coat closet and a framed picture.) Not once have I had trouble passing through that space. Not once have my children asked me to disengage the force field so that they could get to the bathroom. Ginger, however, discovered it immediately. She is such an observant pooch. I always wanted a force field like they have on Star Trek. So cool.

 

2. My couch tastes good. I sit on this couch almost every day. We have all napped on this couch from time to time. My children have played board games on this couch. It has occupied a place in three consecutive living rooms as we moved from one home to another. Who knew that a sofa would be so great for noshing? Maybe, I’ll serve it as an appetizer at my next dinner party. “Forget the stuffed mushrooms with the black bean salsa, the couch leg is to DIE for.”

 

3. Like the Serengeti, my front yard is a vast savannah of mystery with danger lurking in every shadow. Vast plains of verdant grass wave in the wind. Majestic birds wing through the trees. Furtive creatures scuttle in the bush. So why have I been so embarrassed about the weeds and unmulched beds? I need to promote guided safari tours.

 

4. The most cherished and valuable object in our possession is a frayed, blue rag. The remnants of a once absorbent towel, it is now carried in Ginger’s mouth and heart forever. How is it that I haven’t more closely guarded this treasure until now?

 

5. The kitchen garbage and its contents are worthy of in-depth study. Foolishly, I have been discarding extremely noteworthy and valuable specimens that the canine scientific establishment wishes to investigate further. Ginger will publish her findings in the The Journal of Irreproducible Results soon. (If only!)

 

6. There’s a skating rink in my family room. What I thought was a hardwood floor, is seemingly the perfect spot for axels, Salchows, and sit spins.  

 

7. Ants in the house do not taste good. Well, I figured as much.